worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
