You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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