I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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