so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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