I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize