my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
