I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
