Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
