I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
