The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
