Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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