why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
high people should be assigned attendants
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
