What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
