Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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