You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
