i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
