You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
