I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
