On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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