i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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