My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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