Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
