Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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