U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
