I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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