oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
