Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
