VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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