i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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