HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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