I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We got so high we made milksteak
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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