My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
