she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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