wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
