Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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