I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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