So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
