Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
