the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
