if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
