How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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