if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
