Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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