If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
