If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
