like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
