sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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