i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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