Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
