yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
