well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
