You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
