Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
