Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
