do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
