Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I love you.
Bad choice
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