low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
