hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
