Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
