Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
