I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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