im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
