if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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