We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
