He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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