The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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